Yeah, but...

I have been inspired by many people throughout the years. Artistically, I love Georgia O’Keeffe and Louise Nevelson as female role models, but many times someone who jolts me out of my daly stupor is someone who has nothing to do with the arts but is a high achiever in another discipline. Over the Labor Day weekend I didn’t listen to the news at all, so Tuesday morning on my way to work, I heard on the radio that Diana Nyad had finally made her Cuba to Key West crossing. I was surprised, amazed, proud for her and inspired in one quick blow. I mean the woman is a year older than I am, for heaven’s sake. I’ve been breathing hard when I carry the laundry up from the basement. I’ve been stress eating. I’ve been popping the ibuprophen for joint pain, and all I could think of to say to myself when I heard this news is “You wuss!!”

I used to jog. I did it for probably 15 years. Then, when I started having a touch of arthritis pain, I switched to walking because it was easier on the joints. I walked a mile and a half at night (I work full time) about 4 days a week, and I did a full 3 mile walk one day on the weekend. I also continually did yoga stretching to keep all the muscles around my arthritic joints stretched out.

Then came overtime. Then came personal family tragedies and responsibilities and the exercise, except for the yoga, went out the window. The entire time I knew I would sleep better and be less stressed if I would just walk around the block, but somehow I just couldn’t get myself out that door. Hell, I used to walk in snowstorms and I’d walk in the street when there was ice on the sidewalk. I’d walk with an inhaler for the cold-induced asthma. What happened? People always say when you ask them why they didn’t finish that course they were taking or why they didn’t take that trip, or why they didn’t do some life-challenging thing they had been talking about for years “Oh, life happened”. What does that even mean? I understand if there’s a financial emergency that would make a person cancel a trip and other things happen that can derail plans, but what’s my excuse for not going out at night and walking a mile?

When my daughter moved home for a year, she and I joined the local YMCA briefly. I went with her about 4 times and we did laps in the pool. The first time, I could go across the pool and back and I would have to stop and catch my breath (back stroke and breast stroke. My free style or “front crawl” isn’t very good). The second time we went, I was able to swim about 4 lengths, pause briefly, swim 4 more, etc. The 3rd and 4th time we went, I could swim about 6 laps before pausing for a minute, then 6 more and I did that for about 40 minutes. The point being I know I could probably easily walk several miles if I slowly build up the muscles around my one arthritic hip, and I know specific yoga exercises to do that, so what’s my excuse? The entire time my daughter and I were taking care of my dying parents, those four trips to the pool were the only 4 nights I slept really well. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with any of us who actually know how to mitigate the stress in our lives and we say “Yeah, but....” What’s with the big “BUT”? And speaking of butts, I refuse to let mine spread any wider.

Diana Nyad, if you can swim 112 miles in 52 hours, or whatever the hell it was, at the age of 64, I can certainly walk a mile or more every night at the age of 63. You have put me to shame. You have also given me hope that I can shake off this complacency and stop saying “Yeah, but...” and I vow to change. Today.